Comments on: Another day, another headache http://calluna.wordpress.com/2009/07/02/another-day-another-headache/ opinionated thoughts on random topics Tue, 22 Dec 2009 16:36:14 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: shaggerty http://calluna.wordpress.com/2009/07/02/another-day-another-headache/#comment-958 shaggerty Tue, 07 Jul 2009 15:18:08 +0000 http://calluna.wordpress.com/?p=1499#comment-958 Heather, no one would ever accuse you of being a bad mother for not being able to fix something like this. You staying at home full time wouldn't cure his unexplained migraines. I was always impressed with the way you handled an unbelievably full schedule when you were taking graduate classes at UAH in addition to juggling kids (one still a baby, at that), a husband and a full-time job. You're good at everything you do, and you're incredibly strong. No one expects you to carry on like nothing is wrong - it's OK for everything not to be OK sometimes. Heather, no one would ever accuse you of being a bad mother for not being able to fix something like this. You staying at home full time wouldn’t cure his unexplained migraines.

I was always impressed with the way you handled an unbelievably full schedule when you were taking graduate classes at UAH in addition to juggling kids (one still a baby, at that), a husband and a full-time job. You’re good at everything you do, and you’re incredibly strong. No one expects you to carry on like nothing is wrong – it’s OK for everything not to be OK sometimes.

]]> By: Johnny http://calluna.wordpress.com/2009/07/02/another-day-another-headache/#comment-957 Johnny Mon, 06 Jul 2009 19:20:13 +0000 http://calluna.wordpress.com/?p=1499#comment-957 I think you hide it well. You're not sending out a "crisis" vibe if you ask me. But is that necessarily a good thing? Is it a failure to be human? As to your last paragraph, you seem uncertain whether anyone thinks you stink at being a mom. In all the time I've known you, I've never once thought, "She's a bad mother." Are you kidding? If you knew yourself as a friend, with all the things you're facing and all the effort and heart you've put into it, you know you would not think you were doing poorly. So don't do it now. This next comes from 20 years of experience with caregiving and it's a lesson I still haven't learned fully: I know you're a suck-it-up-and-get-off-your-pity-pot kind of gal and I respect and admire that. But that ain't always the answer to every tough time. Sometimes it reaches a point where that won't cut it. You've got to allow God and those who care about you to carry you along for a little while. You'd do it for them. Suck it up and let them do it for you! Would you consider them weak for showing the stress? Is that what you're afraid they'll think of you? I think you hide it well. You’re not sending out a “crisis” vibe if you ask me. But is that necessarily a good thing? Is it a failure to be human?

As to your last paragraph, you seem uncertain whether anyone thinks you stink at being a mom. In all the time I’ve known you, I’ve never once thought, “She’s a bad mother.” Are you kidding? If you knew yourself as a friend, with all the things you’re facing and all the effort and heart you’ve put into it, you know you would not think you were doing poorly. So don’t do it now.

This next comes from 20 years of experience with caregiving and it’s a lesson I still haven’t learned fully: I know you’re a suck-it-up-and-get-off-your-pity-pot kind of gal and I respect and admire that. But that ain’t always the answer to every tough time. Sometimes it reaches a point where that won’t cut it. You’ve got to allow God and those who care about you to carry you along for a little while. You’d do it for them. Suck it up and let them do it for you! Would you consider them weak for showing the stress? Is that what you’re afraid they’ll think of you?

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