05.15.09
Ten Years
Ten years ago today I met my closest girlfriends at the hair salon at 8 a.m. to get our hair done. At noon, we had lunch and helped decorate the church with bows and flowers and the reception hall with tulle. At 4 I donned my dress and posed for pictures. At 6 my dad walked me down the aisle and probably somewhere about 6:20, I said “I do.”
I didn’t think then what life would like 10 years later. On the one hand, it’s gone by in a flash. On the other … Wow, ten years! We’ve moved away and come back, had babies, finished college degrees, changed jobs numerous times. We’ve traveled to California, St. Louis, Chicago, Cincinatti, New Orleans, Indianapolis and Orlando. Maybe that’s why Washington DC seemed like the perfect anniversary destination, continuing our US cities tour.
Ten years. A drop in a bucket. But a significant milestone nonetheless.
05.02.09
Unveiling
About two minutes before my dad walked me down the aisle, someone said, “Oh, you don’t have your veil over your face.” Well, I hadn’t intended to wear it over my face — it was a two-layer, fingertip, satin-edged veil, and the two layers looked gorgeous from the back. But at the mere last minute mention of it, I quickly brought the first layer over my head and it was done. It caused several problems and I immediately regretted doing it.
First, it was long enough that it came past the point where I was holding my flowers. Putting the flowers under the veil seemed odd but holding them outside the veil restricted it from “flowing free.” According to pictures, I carried my flowers under the veil.
Second, my dad both gave me away and led us in our vows. The pastor of the church did our introduction and asked the “who gives this woman” this part. Then, the plan was for my dad to kiss my cheek and then turn around to do his sermon and the vows. Well, with the veil over my head, he didn’t have as easy access to my cheek as when we had practiced this at the rehearsal the night before. So he had to raise the veil to even reach my cheek. Complicating matters was that dad had his Bible in his hand to read from during his sermon. So he had to lift a fairly long veil with one free hand and one Bible-holding hand. It worked, but was a little awkward. It seems to me I remember the Bible being in my face at one point.
Finally — what had the potential to be the worst part of the last minute veiling — was the unity candle. When I went to blow out my candle I blew through the veil and the tulle blew forward toward the flame. Yeah, I almost set my veil on fire during my wedding. The candle didn’t go out with the first blow, so on the second blow I pulled the veil down tightening it to my face enough that the tulle didn’t move toward the flame. Again, just a little un-preferred.
So whenever I’ve thought back to my wedding day and thought of things I’d do differently, the first thing I think of is not wearing my veil over my face. Yet, this verse from Gen. 24:65 has made me rethink it.
She said to the servant, “Who is that man walking in the field to meet us?” And the servant said, “He is my master.” Then she took her veil and covered herself.
This verse is from the story of Isaac and Rebekah when the two are meeting for the first time and when Rebekah is being presented to Isaac as the woman that is to be his wife. I never thought about veiling as a Biblical act until I read that passage. It doesn’t change my thoughts 100% about my own experience, but it does make me view the bridal veil a little differently. I only wish I’d read more on it back then and made an educated decision sooner than moments before the doors of the church opened.
03.25.09
To All the Cars I’ve Loved Before
The A/C in my husband’s car started having problems back in the fall. We didn’t worry much about it since it was getting cooler weather and we wouldn’t need the A/C again for several months. It’s already started to get warm here so we had it checked out a few weeks ago. They estimated $2,400 to replace the evaporator. What?!? It’s not quite 4 years old and has 60,000 miles, which to me seems a little young for such a big problem, considering our old car is nearly 12 years old with 175,000 miles on it and it’s A/C didn’t go out until last year. So we’ve started comparing what it would cost to get a different car versus paying for the repairs. Do we get the same kind of car or a different car? Do we get a car, or do we get a van or wagon Do we get a new car or a new car to us, aka used? Do we lease? Will someone give us enough for our broken car to pay off the loan?
This whole thing got me to thinking about all the cars I’ve had before (I say that like I’ve had a lot. Maybe I have. I dunno.) So a brief car-trip down car memory lane:
My first car I technically still have. I drove it last week, as a matter of fact. It’s a 1997 Mitsubishi Galant. Green. That cool teal green that was popular in the mid- to late- 90s but that is not at all popular now. It’s the aforementioned 175,000-er. I got it the night before my 17th birthday as a surprise. It stayed with me through that last year of high school, went with me to college, and was one of the things my husband liked about our relationship — he preferred my car over his truck; I liked his truck. It endured 4 winters in Indiana and got it’s driver-side mirror knocked off once. It had issues with belts and A/C , and got a rebuilt transmission 3 years ago, but overall it’s been a good, dependable car. We currently use it as our “spare.”
My second car was actually hubby’s truck. A 1995 Toyota T-100 (the predecessor to the Tacoma). It was maroon and had a king cab. Very nice. It was one of the things I liked about him. I had wanted a truck but my dad wanted me to have something more appropriate for hauling stuff and hauling friends — a 4-door with a trunk and good gas mileage. The truck was great, but it met its fate one early, icy, Indiana morning when it skid on an icy hill and hit a telephone pole. Hubby was behind the wheel but wasn’t hurt, at least not from the impact (the air bag burned his arm). He was moving very slowly down a hill, aware of black ice, and there was just nothing he could do. The truck was totaled. We took the insurance money and paid off the Galant.
Fortunately by this time, we had already acquired my third car — our first car together. Sweet, isn’t it? A 2001 Mitsubishi Montero Sport. Our first SUV. We actually leased it because to buy it was too expensive. It was great for winter weather driving and looked nice too. The gas mileage was horrible, so when the lease was up we turned it back in. We were already back in the south by then and didn’t need the 4-wheel drive down here.
A few months before the lease was up on the Montero, we bought hubby’s Volkswagon Passat. Brand New. 2005. Silver, with leather seats. Very nice. He loves it. Drives it every day, even without a working A/C.
Finally, my Pilot. I made my first used car purchase last year — a 2005 Honda Pilot — and I love it. It had low mileage and we got the payments that I wanted. My service rep is a neighbor, so that works out well.
I imagine future car purchases including a truck — we’ve wanted one ever since we lost the last one, but it’s just not been practical (yet). I’d like to always have two different styles of vehicles — like one car and one SUV/van. That way there’s one vehicle with mega room and one that’s just right Think Goldilocks and the three bears: “This one’s too big. This one’s too small. But this one is just right.”
Of course, there will come a day when it won’t just be the two of us needing vehicles. I don’t even want to think about that. Our boys may end up driving a 1997 Mitsubishi Galant who’s color went out of style 2 decades ago.
02.19.09
Something Borrowed
Over Valentine’s weekend I read a book, the entire thing, cover to cover, in 3 days. It was an impulse buy at Target and lured me in with it’s name and cover.
What hopeless romantic could resist a book with the adage “Something Borrowed” and an engagement ring on the cover? Not I. The reviews were great and the synopsis on the back sounded interesting. But the line that sunk the deal was this:
“Something Borrowed … will have you laughing, crying, and calling your best friend.”
My best friend. My best friend and I stopped being “best friends” a long time ago, so reading that line hurt a bit, knowing that even if the book moved me that much, I wouldn’t — couldn’t — call my best friend. We are still friends but in a very different sort of way than the inseparable, connected-at-the-hip pair we were from fifth grade through high school. She is my “best friend from high school” and that will never change, but today neither of us pretend that we are each others best friend. We each have other people in our lives that fill those roles now. On one hand, it’s kinda sad. Like Rachel and Darcy in Something Borrowed, as fifth-graders we envisioned our lives as adults and we pictured each other there, still as close as we were as kids. In reality, that bond slowly broke up as we chose different directions in college, disappointed each other in our decisions, and just started growing apart. At the time I thought, this was inevitable, that you don’t stay the same person as you were in high school so it makes sense that you grow apart. And maybe I still believe that. In the book, Rachel and Darcy essentially do the same thing — choose different directions, disappoint each other, and grow apart — they just did it later in life than I did.
The book did make me want to call my best friend, to talk about what went wrong, to find out if what I think I did that changed things between us is the same thing she thinks I did? Does she even care that we’re not close like we used to be? Does she think about the way we could be and feel sad, like I do? Or has she moved on and is not looking back. Those questions would drag up hurtful episodes in our life and just cause us to rehash a past that we can’t change.
So I won’t call her, at least not about that. But I’ll remember for the rest of my life the way we were and I am happy that we had each other for as long as we did.
And the book, by the way, was enjoyable. My official review:
While the main story line revolved around couples, the real story is about the maturing relationship between childhood best friends. I could identify well with the struggles Rachel felt about her BFF Darcy and her desire, now, as a grown woman to break free and be her own person. Adult themes and language but a thought-provoking look inside a childhood best-friendship and how it can play out as both parties mature to adults.
Oh. And there’s a sequel I’ll be reading next, Something Blue, which is parts of the same story told from Darcy’s point of view. (Something Borrowed is told from Rachel’s point of view). So this probably won’t be the last you’ll hear from me about Something Borrowed, Something Blue.
02.10.09
When I Needed, God Sent
Of all the things said during our wedding ceremony, my favorite was during a prayer by my dad, who led us in our vows. He thanked God that when it came time for me to need a husband, God brought me Hubby. And when it came time for Hubby to need a wife, God brought him me. That’s a concept I’ve really latched on to the last decade, that God brings us what we need when we need it. And I’m not really talking material things, although that can be true too. I’m mainly talking people. I look back at my life and easily recognize the people He brought into my life at certain times and the crucial roles those individuals played.
Mrs. Hughes, my 9th grade English teacher, is the one who asked me to join the yearbook staff. It was my role in yearbook staff those three years in high school that led me toward a career path in communications and ultimately journalism. Without her influence and confidence in me I may have chosen an entirely different career path.
In college, my advisor Sandy Barnard wanted me to slow down and spend more time writing for student publications, even if that meant taking an extra semester or two to graduate. I was on the “fast-track” as he always called it — taking 15-18 hours a semester to finish the journalism program in 2 years. I respected his opinion, but as a non-traditional student (married and commuting 2 hours each way to class) I felt pressured to finish. Even though I couldn’t do what he wanted, he saw potential in me and didn’t give up on giving me the experiences and constructive criticism I needed to grow as a writer and reporter.
It was Sandy who arranged my first newspaper job, and I know without a doubt that my life and my career would look drastically different had I not written for the newspaper in Lawrence County, Indiana. Amongst other beats, I was occasionally given the opportunity to write about space-related things. Lawrence County is proud to be the home of three U.S. astronauts, most notably Gus Grissom. From time to time I wrote about Grissom-related news, whether it be the anniversary of his January, 1967, death or news about Grissom memorials and space artifacts. I also had the privilege of following a group of teens to Space Camp and writing a series about their experiences for the paper. While I grew up in the Rocket City — that is, Huntsville, Ala. — I did not have a big interest in rockets, NASA or space. Little did I know that those clips (even though I badly botched a Apollo I anniversary story by describing the Apollo I explosion when it was actually a fire) would eventually lead to space and NASA becoming a much bigger part of my life.
Along those lines, God sent me David. I can’t fill in the sentence “When I needed ____ God sent me David” because I’m not exactly sure what I needed. Frustration? Someone to argue with? (Just kidding, although there is that.) It might have been when I needed a job, because David is the one who selected me as the writer to join the team where I currently work. It might have been when I needed a colleague because David and I can relate well about writing and newspapers and the city we’re from and other similarities. It may also be that I needed a brother in Christ because I’m able to have conversations about spiritual matters that challenge me and make me study. I have learned important life lessons since David was brought into my life, so maybe it was that I needed to learn an important life lesson. I hope someday I will know for sure. What I do know is the path to where I am today in my career had to involve David. It started years ago and has involved several key people, and this past weekend while attending Space Camp and meeting Apollo-era astronauts — including one who walked on the MOON — I paused to thank God for that blessing and asked, “God, how did I get here?” He answered my question and brought to mind a list of names and encounters, at the end of which was David.
When I needed a friend to help me adjust to the life of a Christian wife, God sent me Andrea (pronounced ah, not and). She prayed for me, invited me to Bible study, helped me feel settled in our new city and was an example of what a Godly woman, wife and mother should be. My marriage might not have survived those early months and years had it been for the mentorship of Andrea. God has sent me a great blessing of friends who have been there for me at just the right times — Ashley, Andrea (this one pronounced and), Barbara, Stephanie … so many good friends!
While I was a gift from God to my parents, they are also a gift from God to me. I love them both so deeply and have witnessed them make so many sacrifices for others and then rejoice in what God did with their sacrifice. My dad is such a Godly man and such a heart for people. My mom made a lot of really tough decisions about my life that I didn’t understand at the time, but I reflect back and am grateful for. She moved me to a new school in 7th grade and persevered as I cried every morning for 3 weeks, “Please don’t make me go mom.” A lot of parents would have given in, but while her heart broke for me, she did what she knew was right. I’m glad now that she didn’t given in.
And of course my husband. We heard in a marriage conference a few days ago about the roots of the word “helper” used in Genesis when God created Eve as a helper for Adam. It means to complete, and as the speaker put it, where one in the marriage is lacking the other should fill in the gaps. It’s not really “opposites attract” kind of thing, but with us, there are weaknesses in each of us that are made stronger by the strengths of the other. I can not imagine life without him. He is my best friend. He sees me for I who truly am and loves me anyway.
I look forward to who He’s going to send my way in the future, and I also look forward to being sent to someone else to fulfill some purpose in their life. Isn’t God great?
02.03.09
Our Box
During our engagement we received this box as a free gift from the department store where we registered. Up until then I had kept momentos of “us” on a bulletin board in my dorm room — movie tickets, love notes, anything relevant to our relationship. I moved all these things into “the box,” and over the years we have added to it.
Every now and then I (sometimes both of us) pull it out and reminisce and are reminded of all the places we’ve been and things we’ve done. There’s the tickets from our first movie, concert tickets, sporting events tickets — a lot of tickets actually — but also putt-putt scorecards including one with my maiden name (why did I put my last name on a putt-putt scorecard?) and one where we took my then 6-year-old (now 16-year-old) nephew with us. There’s postcards we bought at cool places we’ve traveled — the Sears Tower, Knott’s Berry Farm theme park in SoCal, some caving sites in Indiana — newspaper clippings of our engagement and wedding announcements, and the first Christmas card to me from his family saying “we’re so glad you’re a part of our family now.
My coworker recently got engaged and is planning his wedding, and while shopping with hubby for an original idea as an engagement gift I saw this pretty white box (at Target, of course!) and immediately thought of our box and how special it was to me and us. We both liked the idea of passing on a tradition, of sorts, that meant something to our relationship in hopes that it may mean as much to them and be a tool to draw them together, to help them capture history and to someday reflect on their past and progression together. We personalized it with their names and they seemed very happy with it when we gave it them. As much as they liked the object, I hope they also embrace the idea of cherishing their path and cherishing time and cherishing the objects that will help capture and bring back to mind special moments in their relationship. Not a bad engagement gift idea, if I do say so myself.
01.21.09
The State of Cartoons
After being home with a 5-year-old the last two days — Tuesday while Finn was sick and today while I was sick and he was still recovering — I’m in disbelief at what is allowed to pass as a good cartoon these days. Finn likes what he calls “CNN” because it says “CN” on the corner of the screen. It’s Cartoon Network. They play such silly things with animation that I’m not really all that impressed with. They’re just overly silly and non-sensical. Nick Jr. is a tad better, but still a little out there.
My fav is Disney Channel. I love their morning line-up — Little Einsteins, Higglytown Heroes, My Friends Tigger and Pooh, Handy Manny to name a few — and they make sense. They’re just enough educational to satisfy me but not too much that the boys find it boring. But more than that, they have plots. They have interesting, lovable characters. These other shows are just annoying. What ever happened to story lines like were in the Smurfs, He-man, She-ra, Heathcliff, Shirt Tales, Jem, and so on, with protagonists and antagonists and problems to solve? Is it my perspective as the adult that has changed or have cartoons really changed?
08.27.08
I Could Not Ask For More
I heard Sara Evans’ version of “I Could Not Ask For More” for the first time today, which is rather fitting for me today. If my husband and I were to have a song (which we do not), this would be it. The original version by Edwin McCain was on the soundtrack of the movie Message in a Bottle which we saw together while we were dating in college. He later bought me the soundtrack (which I still have and listen to).
I thought that we saw this movie if not on our first date at least one of the first few dates. But it appears the movie wasn’t released until February 1999, and since our first date was exactly 10 years ago today, my recollections must be incorrect.
What I do remember from our first date is that we ate at OCharley’s, and I wore a short burgundy dress (which I still have in the back of the closet, but it hasn’t fit in years). He brought me a bouquet of red roses (which I dried and also still have). I wasn’t quite ready when he arrived so I asked my roommate to have him wait in the common area of our dorm suite. He was impatient to see me, I guess, and did not wait in the common area but rather came to my room where I was finishing up. I also remember that as we were leaving we ran into a mutual friend who did not know we were going out and that friend’s look of surprise and confusion at seeing the two of us together, all dressed up and just us (not the rest of our “group.”)
Ah, memory lane.
