Single Moms (Revisited)


A month ago I started writing a blog post about the moment that I realized I was a single mom, which was about four months into it. I wasn’t happy with the post so I kicked it around some more and finally last week got it saying what I felt at that time, got it to where it captured that moment of enlightenment only to realize … that’s not even how I feel anymore. It is how I felt then, but it’s not what’s going on right now.

But, the pictures of me and the boys that I chose to go along with the post are too cute to not to share anyway.

The original post:

I’m a single mom.

That thought occurred to me for the first time a few weeks ago while at one of the boys’ friend’s birthday party. I had yet to actually think about that title or role, despite technically being a single mom for nearly 5 months now. To my knowledge, only the birthday girl’s parents knew that for a fact, so I have no reason to think anyone knew or care. Yet something made me hyperaware to that fact, like my singleness was the elephant room and everyone knew it and were looking at me funny because of it, like a giant, flashing “single mom” sign was above my head. How ridiculous of me to think that. First, I need to get over myself. It was a little girl’s birthday party, for crying outloud, and I’m there thinking everyone in the room cares about the newly single mom of one of the dozen or so kids at the party over the darling 5-year-old princess they came to see have fun and open presents and eat cake? How egotistical can I be?

Sigh.

That aside, I felt that way because I was there alone, just me and the boys; their dad wasn’t there so therefore I must be a single mom, right? No, actually, while married, the majority of the time I took the boys to birthday parties alone because their dad was out of town or working or didn’t want to go, so taking them to a birthday party as “just me” wasn’t something new. As I wrote earlier this year, I’ve experienced a great deal of what it’s like to be a single mom already. That’s probably why it’s taken this long to occur to me because I’ve gone through many of those motions for a quite while now.

Where am I really? While I’m “technically” single in the sense that I am not married I am in a relationship. As David pointed out when I was talking to him about this post and asking him for the photos to include in it, someone took the photos of three of us, right?

Photo credit: David Hitt

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