A week in the life …
I got a bad crick (creek? crique?) in my neck last week that continued into this week. I’ve suspected for a while I needed new pillows, so Monday I bought one. Pillow shopping is tough. It’s risky. I actually needed two but just bought one until I could be sure this one would work. I didn’t use it the first few days. I was kind of afraid to. But I’ve slept on it the last two nights and it’s pretty comfy. Added to my to-do list next week is to go back and get a second one.
I shopped for Finn ear plugs for swimming but with no success. Target only had adult sizes. He’s been complaining of earaches at night, which I suspect to be a form of swimmer’s ear from swimming 2-3 times a week. Will have to check somewhere else for kid-size ear plugs.
The other night Caden lost his airplane. It was “right here” last time he saw it and now it disappeared. It was bed time. It was past bed time and I figured he was just pulling a typical bedtime stalling tactic. I insensitively said we’d have to find it another time, that it was bedtime, now wasn’t the time to search for a lost toy. He started crying and said, “but daddy gave it to me from my daddy’s airport.” I remember that. I flipped on the light and was bound and determined to find that airplane. We found it waaayyy under his bed, but found it we did.
I’ve been pretty lazy during the day while the boys are off at summer daycare, but that’s OK because both my doctor and my counselor said what I need most right now is rest. Even still, it’s good for me to be a little productive, I’ve been trying to do a few things each day so I can say I accomplished something. For instance, today, I called my dad to help me cut down last year’s dead Confederate Rose bush so this year’s could grow back. He also helped pull some outta-control weeds out of the front yard and raised Finn’s basketball a little (per Finn’s request).
I’ve been doing lots of reading and Bible study. Some pretty heavy reading about grief and hurt and overcoming, etc. Some light fiction reading too just to balance it out. Of course I’ve been searching for and applying for jobs, but new jobs aren’t posted every day so you can’t really do that every day and be effective. It’s actually kinda depressing if you do that everyday and on most days find nothing new to apply for.
I’ve had lunch with friends who I don’t get to see as often when I’m working. I went grocery shopping while the boys were in daycare, which was much more peaceful than taking them with me. Also quicker. And I suspect cheaper.
I woke up yesterday wondering why I still sleep on “my side of the bed.” It’s been nearly a year since John died and yet I still sleep where I always have instead of settling closer into the middle. Interesting.
Last year I bought a cheap used copy of “I’m Grieving as Fast as I Can” but I didn’t read much of it. I had so many resources given to me to read this time last year I couldn’t get to it all. I picked it up today and started where I left off last year. It was describing all the different feelings and emotions people go through after someone dies. I found it quite depressing, actually. The effect it had on me was almost like it was suggesting ways I could feel and I could feel my mood start to drop. So I skipped ahead to the chapter on children and loss, which was much better and very insightful.
I’m shopping for cheaper health insurance. The COBRA prices are so high! I think I found a good plan today but need to be sure before I switch.
Someone stole my late husband’s identity and filed taxes using his name and social security number. So I spent a good bit of time this week trying to notify who needs to be notified and start the process — the 4 to 6 month, possibly, process — of getting that straightened out.
At Barnes & Noble last week I bought several Nicolas Sparks’ paperbacks on sale – Buy 1 get 1 half off, I think. Plus an extra 10% for having my sister with me (she has the Barnes & Noble membership thing).
I took the kids to see Cars 2 tonight. Cute movie. It has a Finn in it (a character named Finn, that is). Finn (my son) said he liked Cars 2 better than the first one.
Tomorrow I’m going to see my grandmother and then to a friend’s baby shower and then to Finn’s ball team’s end-of-season pool party.
I stay busy.
Even if sometimes it’s just doing the mundane.