I have a bunch of head knowledge about forgiveness — the benefits to the forgiver, the freedom that comes with it, how it’s all about us and not the one who’s wronged us, etc. Several people have spoken truth to me about forgiving and even called me out on whether or not I’ve forgiven John.
First, there’s a lot of things there that I need to forgive him for. I often think I have. In general I don’t feel like I go around with a grudge. I am surprisingly, even to myself, rather sympathetic to his situation.
But when our 5-year-old son comes into my room crying that he wants his daddy, my feelings of anger creep up. I’m holding by baby telling him “I know” and “I’m sorry” — the only things I know to say — and in my heart I’m mad at John that I’m having to do this. Is that unforgiveness? How do you forgive and not have resentment creep back up when you experience moments like that one that make me mad all over again? Can you forgive and still be disappointed and/or mad at the impact caused when someone has wronged you?