Mary Did You Know
Mary Did You Know — especially the Kenny Rogers/Wynonna version — is one of my favorite Christmas songs, I think because it’s so thought-provoking. As a young girl I would hear the song and try to imagine being Mary — an unwed virgin teenager all of the sudden pregnant with the Messiah. I imagine her being confused and scared and uncertain. I see her asking “Why me?” and “What next” and not being able to comprehend it all.
One of my favorite Bible verses is about Mary in Luke 2:19. Jesus has just been born, the angels have appeared and the shepherds have come, and Scripture says, “But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.” Of course she did! She had a lot to treasure and a lot to ponder and sort out.
The “Mary Did You Know” song took on an even more special meaning to me four years ago. I was pregnant with Caden — he was due Dec. 28 — so I was, like Mary, “great with child.” Being fullterm with a baby at the time of year that we celebrate Jesus’ birth added this extra layer, if you will, of connection to the Christmas story. I could in no way imagine what it was really like to be Mary. But hearing songs like “Mary Did You Know” while pregnant at Christmas … I don’t know, was just powerful. I could more easily put myself in her place.
A friend blogged recently about whether or not Mary knew or understood what was going on. The friend argued how could she not? She had been read the Scripture, she knew the prophesies, and had religious leaders in her family that would have known the Scriptures well even if Mary didn’t. For example, she probalby knew from her upbringig that the Scriptures prophesied that baby Jesus would be born in Bethlehem, so perhaps they were planning all along that when it came time for the baby to be born they’d start working their way to Bethlehem to make sure and be there to fulfill prophecy. I imagine, instead, that at whatever point Joseph and Mary were notified to report to Bethlehem for the census that they had an “aha” moment — “Oh, that’s how He’s going to get us there.” Maybe. Just a thought.
Too, people just didn’t get it. They didn’t get how the Messiah was going to come, how He was going to save them. I imagine that Mary didn’t full get it either (thus all her pondering). Even though she had the angel telling her what was going on and Scriptures oulining what was going to happen, I think God was so big in this that she couldn’t wrap her brain around it long enough to make it make sense. I feel that way about God today. Some things are just so Him that no matter how hard I try, I can’t make them make sense in my finite mind.
Rudolph Files His Appeal
Rudolph has appealed last week’s verdict, claiming that he did not receive a fair trial and that the prosecution assumed guilt too quickly without proper evidence.
As part of his defense, Rudolph has introduced new facts into evidence that were previously unheard in this court. One such evidence is that later that day, the victim, one Caden A Smith, was still coughing despite Rudolph having been removed from the premises. In fact, Rudolph has been serving his sentence for nearly a week and young Mr. Caden continues to cough — last night the aforementioned cough kept him awake (and his mother frustrated) for an hour past his prescribed “bedtime.”
So the case has been reopened, pending additional evidence.
The Mystery of the Reappearing Cough
Ever since watching the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer movie last week, that has been all Caden has talked about. He asks to hear or sing the song every time we’re in the car. He’s in love with “Rudolph the red reindeer nose,” as he mistakenly but cutely calls him.
So Saturday, in the JCPenney sale ad they had stuffed Rudophs for half off, plus an extra percentage off. It was my idea to take him to get one, and the joy on his face while hugging his Rudolph was priceless.
Later that night he was coughing really bad and couldn’t stop. He has asthma so we used his albuterol and gave him benadryl thinking maybe the dust from getting out the Christmas tree was bothering him, or sometimes being around someone with heavy lotions or perfumes can bother him like that.
Sunday the cough was still around in the morning so we did another breathing treatment and this time gave him Zyrtec (it doesn’t make him as sleepy as benadryl.) During the day he seemed better. At night, the cough returned. John was wearing a new Navy uniform both days and the timing was close enough that I thought maybe there’s something in the new uniform that’s bothering him.
Same thing happened Monday night/Tuesday morning, except this time his dad was not around, so it couldn’t be the uniform.
This morning, at 5 a.m., he was coughing his head off and I called him to come to my bed. Tucked under his arm is Rudolph, who he’s been sleeping with every night since we got him, and after a few minutes my eyes start to feel scratchy. Then I smell it. Perfume. Musky perfume. On Rudolph. And then it hits me and everything makes sense.
How sad for him though to be allergic to his new favorite toy. He cried when I took it away and tried to explain that I think Rudolph was what was making him cough. While I went to get him medicine he snuck Rudolph back. I explained to him again to which he responded, “I think you’re right,” and then handed him over. :( I think in that short time apart and brief reunion he might have been able to tell that he felt different with Rudolph vs. without.
So now the challenge is how to fix it. I could try to wash Rudolph, but because he also plays music water immersion therapy might kill his song. I could also try to shop for a new Rudolph that isn’t so “fragrant,” but that would require time and money and some other store having such a Rudolph. Don’t know yet what I’ll do. At this point I’m just glad to have solved the mystery.
Deployment Ceremony
A couple in our church invited our small group (aka Sunday School class) to a deployment ceremony today — the husband is part of the 441st Explosion Ordnance Disposal Battalion that is leaving for Iraq for a year. I’ve never known anyone going off to war like that, so I was honored to be invited to support them at the ceremony and participate in their send-off.
It felt kinda like being in the locker room before a big football game. The various commanders spoke to the soldiers and their families, each respectively, offering words of encouragement and reassurance and affirmation.
“You’re trained, you know your job.”
“Citizens of Alabama are behind you and understand and respect what you’re doing on your mission.”
“You are ready to do your mission.”
“Your mission will frustrate you and challenge you …. Your job is to protect your fellow guardsmen … and to stay to the left of the boom.”
“To families, fear not, they’re in good hands. They’re ready, they’re going to do a good job, they’re going to be back within a year.”
As the soldiers marched in I looked at their faces — some were so young, some my age, some my parents’ age, dads, moms, sons, daughters, and at least one who looked like someone’s nana or memaw. The commanders thanked the soldiers and their families for their sacrifices for the next 12 months, as well as their sacrifices of the last 12 months as their soldier has prepared for deployment.
A young, black, female soldier belted out “The Battle Hymn of the Republic,” and with chillbumps on my arms and tears welling up, I closed my eyes and just took it in — the soldiers, the war, my freedoms, their sacrifice, the danger, the sadness of leaving home, my gratitude.
The chaplain prayed, “Father, still us for the journey ahead” and read the Explosion Ordnance Disposal prayer
Lord of power and might,
whose mercy is everlasting,
guard and guide those who
place their lives in the balance
to ensure the safety of those nearby.
Look with favor upon those with
the prowess and skill to disarm
explosive devices, render them safe,
and remove from others the threat of harm.
Bless those who have been set apart
by this hazardous duty, and give support to
their families and loved ones
who wait through each tense call.
Receive into eternal rest those
who have given their lives
and bring healing to those who mourn.
Grant that in the EOD Family
there may be unity of spirit
for the well being of all.
To your glory with grateful hearts
we thank you loving God.
Amen
God speed, Rob, and the rest of the 441st. Thank you, and we look forward to welcoming you home soon!
Target Sidebar
Often I run across cool Target news and it’s not really worth a full post because I often have nothing more to say other than “look what way totally awesome cool thing Target is doing now!” So, I added a “Target” section in my sidebar to put links to any Target coolness I read about. And if it really warrants me talking about it, I will. If not, I can at least do the world justice by spreading the word about the coolest place on Earth!
Black Friday
The last two or three Black Fridays my sister and I and a friend of hers have been crazy enough to shop the busiest shopping day of the year. We’ve made a habit of meeting at Walmart at 4 a.m., ready for their 5 a.m. opening, and then heading to Target just before they opened at 6. One year they got my Walmart list while I waited outside Circuit City for an hour, in freezing temperatures, to get $3.99 Wii accessories for my nephews. Another year I had a mild asthma attack in Target, I think due to a confluence of events — extreme temperatures (waiting in freezing cold then getting too hot inside) the bustle of shopping carts and frenzied shoppers and the adrenaline of the hunt.
This year we upped the ante. Big time. While sitting at my mom’s, post-dinner, my sister and I poured over the sale ads making our lists and calling out deals. Hubby comes to us from the back room where he and my nephews are watching TV and tells us Toys R Us is opening at midnight. My sister and I both look at each other with a look of intrigue, each with one raised brow thinking, “Should we? Could we? How cool would that be?” My sister says she wished she’d known sooner so we could have made plans with our other shopping friend — to which I say, “Plan it up! Let’s Go!”
And that was all it took. I went to bed at 10 p.m. I woke up and hour and a half later, layered a sweatshirt and sweat pants on top of workout pants and a t-shirt, grabbed gloves and a big coat, a thermos for hot chocolate, my list and my stack of ads, and I was off.
Toys R Us turned out to be too much to even try it. The line nearly circled the building and then back tracked on itself. Then we found out they were only letting in 50 shoppers at a time. And then there was a seperate line if you wanted to go into electronics. We gave up before we ever got out of cars. We drove across the street to Krispy Kreme and bought donuts instead.
Old Navy was opening at 3 with $5 fleece and $10 jeans so that was our next stop. We made it there at 1 a.m. and 15 or so people were already line. We ducked into Gap for a bit (no good deals there), and at 1:30 was in line at Old Navy. When they opened, we made a beeline for the fleece (I got one for each of the boys), got a pair jeans each for the boys, and by 3:30 had checked out and was on our way to Target
Target opened an hour earlier this year, at 5 instead of 6. The major motivator to be there even earlier was a free Marcel Wanders reusable shopping bag to the first 500 shoppers.
I got one! The Marcel Wanders reusable shopping bag!!
There were no pushing or shoving or trampling like you hear about sometimes. There were very eager shoppers who were also polite when they’re eagerness caused them to bump into you or knock their cart into yours.
Working my way to the toy department at Target
A few ladies annoyed me in the middle of the main aisle to toys — they wer standing around talking about what they came for, who they were going to give it to, what a great deal it was, etc. when there’s a long line of us trying to get around them. One lady whom I stood beside in a traffic jam in electronics commented on how she had never been out on Black Friday before and now she understood why.
I certainly saved some money by being there when stores opened, but for us I think it’s less about the deal itself and more about finding the deal, the thrill of the hunt, the thrill of paying half price all the while knowing others are going to pay more. And sharing the hunt and the deals with my sister and our friend, and this year another friend and a friend of hers, adds to the fun.
I hear people say year after year that they can’t understand what would make people get out so early, in the cold — no cost savings could be worth that. And they may be right. But hanging out with the girls, laughing your head off and proudly showcasing your finds, is.
The Rain
“Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It’s never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times.”
The Back-story
Finn was 13 months old. He was having a minor day surgery. The nurse took his temperature, asked his height and weight and took his blood pressure. The alarm on the blood pressure machine kept sirening. The nurse reached over and turned off the alarm with some sort of “I hate that thing” comment. I don’t remember the numbers on the machine — at that point I didn’t know to pay attention or even what numbers were good or bad.
A few hours later they take him back for surgery and the surgeon tells me he’ll see us in the recovery room in a few minutes. The surgery was going to be simple and quick. 15 minutes. 20 minutes. 25 minutes. The anaesthesiologist comes to where we’re waiting. He says Finn is fine, the surgery is going fine, but there is a problem with Finn’s blood pressure. I don’t understand but he’s still talking to me. I’m listening to him and answering his questions and trying to make sense of this all at the same time.
He says Finn’s blood pressure was high before they put him under sedation but they thought it might be anxiety about the surgery. They expected the blood pressure would go down once he was sedated. But it went up. The numbers that stick out in my head were 215/185. Normal for an adult is around 125/75. Normal for an infant is even lower. The anaesthesiologist could tell I wasn’t fully grasping what these numbers meant. “That is the blood pressure of an adult having a heart attack,” he said.
He left to go back to Finn. My family and I were speechless and confused. We prayed. The dr. was gone just a minute or two, and then he came to get me. Finn was awake and crying and the dr. wanted me to help calm him down. They were injecting medicine in his IV to bring the blood pressure down but it wasn’t coming down a whole lot. He was getting the injection every five minutes. I held him and rocked him and shushed him and spoke softly to him trying to help him relax.
Some amount of time passed and the blood pressure was low enough to move him out of recovery. We were moved to pediatric intensive care. The next 24 hours are kind of a blur. They kept pushing medicines, they did ultrasounds of his abdomen, there was little discussion of what the problem was or how to fix it.
The next morning they loaded us up on an ambulance and took us to Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital in Nashville, Tennessee. We spent nearly a week at Vanderbilt. They did a CT scan with contrast running through Finn’s veins and found the problem — a pinched or narrow artery. The artery was the renal artery to his right kidney (renal means kidney). The artery was too narrow to carry the required amount of blood to the kidney so it signaled his heart to send more. The heart sent more, causing all the other organs to get too much. The official diagnosis was hypertension due to renal artery stenosis to the right kidney.
Options
At the time, we didn’t have many options. In adults, arteries like this are fixed by putting in a stint to hold the artery open. They didn’t make a stint small enough for a one-year-old. Another option in adults is removing the narrow section and piecing together the two ends. But Finn’s narrow section was long enough that removing it wouldn’t leave enough end pieces to pull together without resulting in a still-narrow artery.
Either surgery was not a viable option. We couldn’t fix it, but his blood pressure could not be allowed to be that high. So instead of fixing the problem we had to fix the symptom. Basically, Finn would take medicine to control his blood pressure until he was big enough for surgery — if surgery would even fix it. The downside to treating with medicine was the right kidney may not get enough blood, may not grow at the same rate as the left kidney, may not grow at all or may lose function. Another “option” was he could outgrow this condition, but in the meantime the blood pressure needed to be controlled medically.
For the next year we commuted to Vanderbilt every other month to check his blood pressure and adjust his medicines accordingly until the dr. got it just right. He was on two medicines, twice a day. The medicines were not manufactured for children so they had to be compounded into liquids.
The dr. thought the artery might be operable when Finn was 3 or 4 years old. When he was 3 1/2 they did another CT scan of his kidneys and the artery was still too narrow for surgery. However the right kidney was only slightly smaller than the left, so that was a good sign that the kidney was growing and functioning. We kept taking meds and had checkups at Vandy every six months.
Present-day
They did another CT scan earlier this year — at 5 1/2 — and things had changed. The artery wasn’t too narrow. Still a little narrow, perhaps, but not narrow enough for the radiologist to call it a stenosis. Around the same time Finn was dealing with all these migraine headaches and one of the suggestions from our pediatrician was seeing if the blood pressure medicines were contributing to that.
So our Vandy dr. started decreasing medicines, and the last two months we’ve been cutting doses in half and then doing away with doses alltogether, and this past week we went for a checkup. He’s been taking only a small amount of medicine once a day the last few weeks and his blood pressure checked out fine. So the dr. said to stop that last little bit and take nothing at all. Really?!?
For five years we’ve taken two medicines, twice a day, and in a matter of months we’ve shed off all of that and his blood pressure is fine all by itself. Amazing!
I’ve been in a little shock and disbelief ever since. Not a pessimistic disbelief, just full of wonder and amazement at what has transpired. I still can’t put the right words to it. I can’t say for certain that this is behind us because we’re still testing it out. We go back in two months and see how he’s doing. We’ll do periodic blood pressure measurements over the next year just to make sure it doesn’t creep back up. And we’ll scan the kidneys again in a year and see what the artery looks like. But it’s quite possible that Finn is healed.
Healing
Healing doesn’t have to come immediately or when we think it’s needed or at an illness’ onset or even at it’s worst. Healing can come over the course of a few years as the miraculous body God made grows and develops and works itself out. I believe God could have touched this artery and fixed it — we prayed that this entire time — and that may very well be what He did. But I also believe that he created our complex bodies and it’s possible that his marvelous creation healed itself over the years just by doing what God made it do. And if that’s the case — that all Finn’s body needed was a little time to work this out — then how thankful I am that God made a way through modern medicine to keep his body healthy until it was ready to heal, or until He healed him.
Now if over the course of the year things aren’t as they seem and we end up back on medicine or whatever else may happen, none of that will make anything I’ve said here not true. It just means God’s working again and there will be something great come out of that work too.
The morning after hearing this news I was listening to some great praise music on the way to work and I couldn’t hold back the tears. The song was Mercy Me “Bring the Rain,” and I was crying over how unworthy I am to receive this blessing of healing in my son.
This whole time, instead of asking “why me” in the traditional sense of why is this bad thing happening to me, I’ve aked “why me,” meaning what do You want me to do with this, how are You wanting to use this. And this past week I was asking “why me,” why is this great thing happening to me because I am so unworthy. And while I don’t have all the answers, the answer to all three of the “why me” questions is love. Because He loves me, I go through trials. Because He loves me, He will use this for His glory. And because He loves me, he pours out blessings that we don’t deserve. Because He loves me, He brings the rain.
NASAversary
Three years ago today I started my NASA career. I’ve never been in one place this long so this is the first time I have been able to sit at a job and reflect back three years on all that has transpired.
Professionally, man have I got to do some cool things! Most days I sit in my cube and I write, and I read, I interview people, and then I write some more. But these past three years have been jam-packed with coolness! I’ve interviewed a half a dozen or so astronauts either in person or on the phone and met quite a few others. I’ve been to NASA’s Johnson Space Center three times. I’ve had insider tours of the places where astronauts train for missions. I’ve been to Mission Control! I’ve been to NASA’s Ames Research Center in California where I saw (and walked through) wind tunnels. I went to Space Camp. I’ve been weightless!!
Personally, I’m part of a family here. I’ve made good friends here. I’ve made life-long friends here.
Who knew that this would work out as well as it has. I’m blessed and grateful and proud to be here.
Me with Astronaut Alvin Drew
Me as PLT (NASA-speak for pilot) at Space Camp
Me -- Weightless!!
Also, I think it’s cool that my sister works for NASA too, so a cool NASA photo of her too!
